My Sanctification: Things that Suck

"Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, “Who are these, clothed in white robes, and from where have they come?” I said to him, “Sir, you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. “Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”" (Revelation 7:13-17, ESV)


This has been my favorite passage over the past few months. As I hear stories from people I love and care for who are suffering personally or vicariously, I can't help but come back here.

Though the Revelation has its "odd" passages that people translate even more oddly, this passage seems to be so complex yet so simple. Here, we have the saints in glory - who have come through tribulation and have replaced their rags with the white robes of glory. The passage that follows takes your breath away.

What do we have? What rest do we have? Though we have come through tribulation, we are sheltered in his presence, we have no need, we have no danger, and how glorious is it that our tears will be wiped away.

Tears in heaven? As Dr. Kistemaker says of this passage in his commentary, "If there is one text in Scripture that comforts the saints, it is this verse. Here we meet the infinite tenderness of our God, who is able to remove from our eyes every tear caused by suffering, death, and sorrow." This idea echoes Old Testament views of restorations and freedom from exile. The idea of "tears in heaven" has been given prominence in songs by the like of Eric Clapton and Ray Boltz. Of course, the two are talking about totally different things. Clapton sings a lament for his lost son, who died tragically at a young age - singing with the knowledge and hope that where his son is, there are no tears. Boltz has a more cheesy approach (all the while very tactile) in which he describes tears of joy as we look at all the good things we have done. I don't think this passage is talking about either of those tears though.

The tears that are spoken about here are the tears that finally see our suffering and "exile" in the light of true restoration and redemption. The hope of glory and the promise of resurrection is finally realized. To say there is no sadness in heaven may be an overstatement. I think there may actually be sadness - but I think in that sadness we'll have full comfort and full rest - for the first time in our lives seeing what true covenantal love is.

So what today? We do have these promises today. We do have the hope that a place in being prepared for us and that in this life we can have life to the full. We know that God is actively working our our sanctification here and now, in the midst of things that suck. That said, I don't believe it is wrong for us to shout from the rooftops with John, "Come, Lord Jesus!" I long for the day when I can go home. I long for the day that the Lord's promise of "I will settle you in your own land" comes true, and we can finally see our mansions in glory. To walk the streets with Jesus -- to drink deep and eat heartily at the marriage feast of the Lamb.

To finally come to a point in my existence where I can truly say without any hesitation, "I am finally home!"

My Sanctification - Lord, Help My Unbelief

Today I'm having a hard time believing gospel.

You might ask, "What do you mean? I thought you were a Christian!" Well, yes, I am a Christian, but that doesn't mean my life or my thought life I should say is always rosy. I am a very cynical person. I don't trust people. By and large, I typically expect the worst from people and usually expect them to dump on me somehow or let me down. I don't depend on them, because I'll be let down. When people criticize me, I don't like them. When they question me, I cast them off my "People That Matter" list. There are very few people in my life who I will willingly receive a rebuke from and love them enough to receive it without contempt towards them.

Why? Basically, because I don't believe the gospel like I should. I somehow am placing my addiction to approval and want for control over my need to trust Jesus alone for my salvation and my comfort. He really does look out for all my needs, and whether or not people's motives are pure doesn't concern me. Whether or not they are truly bent on my destruction is inconsequential. What matters is that I'm accepted and loved by my Creator, and He alone sustains me.

So, in the midst of these ideas, how do I love people and become less cynical? The comments I have always gotten (at least since middle school/high school) is that I'm too negative and that I should "look at the bright side of life". Agreed. But what if I don't see a bright side? I simply can't be fixed through "being better and doing better". That said, I also recognize the commands of Christ to "love one another as (my)self" and to love the body.

So, as I sift through comments about me or my work, I have to come to the conclusion that the Lord has called me to love. He has also called me to belief the gospel - which says that though I should consider those comments and suggestions, love the ones who made them, and sort them according to priority and seriousness, it also says that those comments about me don't change my standing with Him. That doesn't change.

I'm thank that Jesus died for cynics like me. Lord, help me to see the bright side of life. There has to be one, because you have never left, and your won't forsake us.

Writer's Block

Currently, I'm experiencing a bit of writer's block. It isn't that the ideas aren't there - I've just lost the part of me that used to log on and write them down. I do have a piece on our triathlon that I plan to post, but other than that, I don't see much on the horizon.

Maybe a trip to church camp or a visit to the mall will jog my mind back into its right place in front of a keyboard. Time will tell.

Triathlon Training - Update

Triathlon training is going. It isn't going as well as expected because of the time constraints my job places on my life. I don't at all say that to complain, though it may sound like it. I am thoroughly excited that I am engaged and involved in the lives of the people I am doing ministry with. That takes time, and ministry obviously has a priority over my triathlon training. That said, I feel like I'm in a good place and will be at a better place come race day.

I have also started p90x, a TV infomercial that my friend Shaun turned me on to - not the existence of it, but the idea of actually completing it.

It has been tough, but it has been a joy. Now, if I can stop eating pizza and biscuits, I should be fine.

Youth Blog

So, I felt the need to post information on this blog about my youth group blog. Some who know me would likely be interested in seeing what my youth group is doing and what they are learning about.

The link can be reached through my profile, or by clicking the link below:

Cornerstone Presbyterian Youth Group

Triathlon Training Again

Well, I am running another triathlon. This time, my wife is joining me. The race is on May 31 in Pocomoke City, Maryland. It is on the Eastern Shore. The race lengths are:

Swim - 1/2 mile
Bike - 15 miles
Run - 3.1 miles (5k)

Currently, I feel good about the first two legs. My 1/2 mile is currently hovering just above the 20 minute mark - a mark I hope to blast by the end of May. My 15-mile on the bike just went below 1 hour. The bike portion of the race is my most relaxed part, as I'm very comfortable on the bike, especially since buying a new Trek - very nice. My 5k is likely still around 35 minutes and will probably stay there. With that, however, I plan to achieve my goal of finishing the race under 2 hours:

Swim - 20 minutes
Bike - 60 minutes
Run - 35 minutes

Total - 115 minutes, or 1 hours 55 minutes

So, that is my goal. We are still 6 weeks out and are starting to ramp up our training, with about 4 hours/week dedicated to the cardio portion of the race. For me, I'm additionally doing a strength/endurance program another 6 days a week.

Good times.

The Masks We Wear

Recently, I have come to learn much about my own addiction to the approval of others and how I need it like an addict needs his next high. Without approval, I feel panicked and even cowardly, as if I can't complete my job and can't even function. That said, I easily realize how many Christians could possibly have issue with this - not just my "approval addiction" but the fact that someone could actually be some upfront with his sin and yet claiming to love Jesus. I recognize that may cause some concern - especially since I'm training to be a pastor.

I worked at Hardess in college. While there, it wasn't uncommon to come across the occasional unsavory customer who felt like they had been slighted in some regard and thus were literally throwing it back at us. In those altercations, I would don my mask (which I had made from a ZooPal party plate) and I would go to the counter and just stand there, motionless and silent. My new face was the face of a smiling tiger. The tiger never flinched, never wavered in its resolve, just simply stared adversity in the face with a smile. Behind the mask, of course, there was much expression - usually suppressed laughter. The angry customer would either turn and yell at the tiger or laugh and walk away. Either way, I was able to change the situation because I didn't have to be myself. I didn't have to face possible rejection because it wasn't me standing there, it was the tiger - and frankly the tiger didn't give a care.

How does that relate to our experiences in the Church? Well, we wear masks. It would be nice if we could get by on wearing ZooPal masks, because then we could at least laught with one another, but we can't. We wear our ties and our coats and our nice dresses. More importantly, we wear our morality - our good deeds...indeed, our lack of bad deeds. We wear our Sunday school demeanors. We wear our smug self-righteousness. We wear the keys to the closets of our sin around our necks - under our shirt no less, but we wear them. We don't want anyone to see what goes on behind the curtains, unless it somehow adds to the mask that we have on - unless it somehow makes us look better than we actually are.

What is the problem with this? Well, we have a Church full of mask-wearing believers who don't know who each other are. We also are giving the wrong idea to the lost world, who looks on the inside of our churches and see a bunch of goodie-good people with smiling faces and well-dressed children. They also see us as a bunch of people who can't even recognize that we are dirty - even though our dirt is so very apparent. So they say things like, "I can't go to church - there are nothing buy hypocrites in there." or "Follow Jesus? If those people are following him, you can count me out."

The church must remove its masks. We must come to a point where we realize first that we are sinners - and it is only through Christ that we are cleanses and that we have redemption. We are sinners, and the only hope we have of becoming more holy is by believing the gospel more and more each day. It has nothing to do with how many verses we memorized last week or whether or not we went to both services on Sunday - the question is: How much do you believe the gospel? If you believe the gospel, then you believe that Christ has saved you and what you do doesn't matter. Only Christ's works and His righteousness are effective for your salvation. There is no need for you to wear a mask because you are secure in Christ. It doesn't matter what people will think or what people will say - you are secure in Christ. Christ, take of your mask and face one another - how else can we truly walk together in a state of loving communion and the sense of "bearing one another's burdens".

Our prayer should be that Christ would instill in us the desire to show ourselves truly and freely to one another so that we could not only grow together - but so that we could show others that the Church isn't for good people - but for people just like them.